Motherhood: Short-tempered due to lack of sleep


I'm 36 weeks pregnant (at the time of writing this blog).
I suffer from insomnia from around 4 AM - 5.30 AM.

My toddler thinks waking up at 6:00 AM or a little before is the new normal.

I'm tired.

I'm not just physically tired—I can actually deal quite well with that for now.

I'm beyond tired from kneading my brain for answers on how I can solve both issues.

Solving the issues of early waking and insomnia seems better to me than letting go, but I might be wrong.
Let's explore both options.

Solving the issues

I know that for both situations there's not one particular solution. I've done my research and only a combination of things might solve my insomnia.

For the sleep cycle of Judah, there are so many combinations possible that it can be viewed as an experiment. I have to try different things, in different pairings, in order to know what works and what doesn't—which means, a lot of options and a lot of early mornings remaining.

So the issue isn't necessarily quickly solved. It takes time to find the right solution, apply it, and enjoy the benefits. Is that worth cracking up my brain?

Now, of course, I have prayed for better nights, but so far, God keeps it manageable only. It's just life as a parent, I guess.

Letting go

My other option is to find peace in any situation.

→ Enjoy it when the child wakes up at 6:30 AM.

→ Go with it if it's 5:30 AM.

→ Pray when it's 4 AM and you're wide awake. Practice some breathing techniques and let the body fall asleep again when it can.

Yes, I can go with the flow.
I can stop thinking about how I could change things and accept the circumstances.

The good thing about surrendering it all is that I can have peace. I don't have to overthink solutions with the possible consequence I get even more frustrated when things don't work.

On the other hand, surrendering it all means I am becoming more and more sleep-deprived which makes me a little less enjoyable to be around. I admit, I am more short-tempered and that's no fun for anyone.

So what to do here?

My solution, which is actually a bunch of tactics for trying to be the best mom I can be regardless of the circumstances

My "solution" is a couple of tactics that I use to stay sane and act in responsible ways.

Tactic 1

There's something that is essential for me to stay patient and understanding, and that's reading and spending time with God.

It is best for me to do this in the morning, but that's not always possible as… well, that's what this whole blog post is about—my lovely early bird and my insomnia.

If I don't spend time with God, I get annoyed about not having spent time with Him yet, and I miss this instilled peace that only my quiet time can give me.

So that's one.

Tactic 2

Then there's number two.
Which is Breath and Review—I came up with that name myself.

Breath and Review asks me to do the following:

When a certain thing happens that I dislike, for example, my child decides to throw all of his blocks on the floor right before bed, I first take a deep breath.
It will help to suppress my immediate response, which is usually anger when I'm short-tempered.

Then I try to review why (in the heck!!!) my lovely child might act a certain way.
Perhaps he doesn't want to go to bed—which is understandable.
Perhaps he is exploring something new—yay, he's developing!
Perhaps [fill in the blank].

After my review, I can react in the most considerate way.
I noticed that when I dissect the situation and find reason(s) for why certain behavior is displayed, I can relate to my child more and act in a more loving, supporting, yet authoritative way.


So at times, I do let go.
But at times, I also try to find solutions. It depends on how much energy I have and how motivated I am.

What is most important to me is that I am living in the now. So after a bad night's sleep, I need to be able to cope with whatever will happen that day.

I have two ways to go about that and I shared them with you.
But those are only two ways that specifically work for me.

You are a different person and you might need other tools. Draw inspiration from what I shared and find ways that work for you. That's how we can help each other, right?

If you are a sleep-deprived mom, I feel you! Sending you a virtual hug!
And then suddenly, they wake up at 7 AM some day.